Warning: Extremely EMO post coming up. I don't know why these couple of months been pretty emo. I think it is all the women hormones in the chicken I have been eating recently. If you do not like EMO stuff, uh wait for the next crazy post.
On a relatively quiet weekend, we decided to check out a movie that was recommended by a close friend.
Initially I wasn't too excited about watching this movie and was thinking I will most likely fall asleep. However to my surprise and I watch the entire movie and even enjoyed it.
From the cover it looks like an action packed show about firemen in the field. However it is quite different from the movie cover. Actually it is all about family and how relationships break down and more importantly marriages.
The movie starts off with a couple fighting over simple things and the male character (Caled Holt) is a fire chief at a local firestation and he blames his failing marriage because his wife (Cathrina Holt) doesn't appreciate what he does. He brings the money home and he risk his live saving people and he feels that he deserves to come back home without getting a royal nagging from his wife. He pays for the house and the cars and he feels it is his right that his wife should do all the cooking and cleaning.
They were on the verge of breaking up and Caleb's dad told him not to proceed with divorce proceedings for 40 days and he would send Caleb something. He sends a diary to him and asked Caleb to do this thing called a LoveDare for 40 days and see how it goes. Each day he is asked to do something really simply like do not talk back to his wife, buy something small to show his appreciation for his wife, or call his wife to say he still thinks about her.
At the end of the 40 days he realised that he was the one that was neglecting his wife and it was he that was causing to much pain in the relationship.
Before anyone jumps to any conclusion, I have to say that this should not be taken as a stereotypical view that it is always the guy that is at fault all the time. I feel that this movie is trying to say is that we always think that we are right especially when we are angry and not in the right frame of mind.
Each day he does something for his wife, he realises what his wife has done from him in the past and how he treated his wife before as his wife is doing the same exact thing to him.
There was something midway through the movie where Caleb's dad said something that truly moved me. He said "Love is doing something for another person without thinking about a reward". I think in this current day and age most people do something for another person with a mindset that he/she should get his/her just reward. However sometimes it is not all about winning or losing or giving or receiving in a relationship. I have to say I am also guilty in this department and I sometimes get "angry" that I do not get what I should have gotten from Amy.
However after the 4 years we have been together we have learnt that both of us show our love for each other very differently. We initially had completely different views about what love was and this lead to many arguments and silent treatment. As the years go by we learn more about each other and at the same time appreciate each other more as a result.
I think most of the time relationships break down due to 2 simple reasons. The lack of communications and also one partner expecting too much from the other. I also feel romantic movies plays a big part as well. Half way through our relationship we decided we should be open with each other and share each others feeling with each other so we know how each other feel. Initially it was tough because I am never a person to share my feelings.
We got through it and as a result we know each other better. I know when it is time to back down from an argument and just let it go. Amy also know now the things that I dislike and that I am not as romantic as those movies portray.
I think in a relationship we must have the desire to change for your other half. A relationship is a coming together of 2 people who are completely different, have completely different views, 2 completely different upbringing, 2 completely different expectations. As a result it would never work if these 2 individuals do not compromise with each other.
I really recommend everyone to download and watch this movie. Amy transferred it into my laptop and if anyone wants it let me know. It has opened my eyes up even more now that before.